Thursday, August 26, 2010

Casual Friday-ization

noun. A process that, if unchecked, may eventually include a Hawaiian shirt.

Real citation: "In Which the Casual Friday-ization of the Entire Freakin' World Reaches Its Logical Conclusion"
(July 28, 2010, Paul Lukas, Uni Watch,

Made-up citation: "You say, 'You're pantless, Mr. Peters!' I say, 'You can't handle Casual Friday-ization. Can you, Officer?'"

Friday, August 20, 2010


noun. Sofasexuals know what I'm talking about.

Real citation: "Z Gallerie (downtown LB and yes, that's how its spelled) going out business.. Everything 50% -70% off!! Furniture-gasm"
(Aug. 18, 2010, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I had three furniture-gasms last night. In some cultures, I'd already be married to that futon."

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


noun. Could have something to do with a color. Or a wine. Or the finest anchorman who ever lived.

Real citation: "Its all burgundy-y-ish-ness and stuffs xD Going to the Waterfront Music Festival in downtown NBPT today to..."
(July 10, 2010,
Stephie Lupin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I'm always in the mood for Ron Burgundy-y-ish-ness. And cinnamon rolls. That's just how I was raised."

Monday, August 16, 2010


noun. A genre I enjoy, because of the me, me, me, me, and me.

Real citation: "@kspidel I went on d defense reading your tweet as I am occasionally accused of twitter self-sploitation. I skank out for fun, not followers"
(Aug. 12, 2010, DC Debbie, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I wonder if I'm guilty of self-sploitation. I guess, in retrospect, the whole world didn't need to know about every contemptible sexual act your mom has talked me into. Live and learn!"

Friday, August 13, 2010


noun. A multidisciplinary expert who knows almost nothing of poo-poo or duck butter.

Real citation: "RT @FloBlitz: If u sneeze while peeing, the pee stops until the sneeze is over! #FYI <-Sneez-o-PeePee-ologist"
(July 19, 2010, Kel Spencer, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Man, I would've been a great sneez-o-peepee-ologist. Why'd I have to go into dentistry? Even when I throw in a free exorcism, teeth are a freakin' bore."

Thursday, August 12, 2010


noun. Another name for the awesome-fu I used on your daddy, your mama, and your polar bear.

Real citation: "I knew he was a bastard, but even so, I couldn't quite believe that Arlo pulled a gun on his son. Speaking of which, I really loved TO's reading of 'Don't call me that' immediately afterward - the cold, disbelieving understatement in his voice was perfect. (On an entirely different note, 'You didn't happen to bring your rocket launcher, didya?' had me laughing so hard I startled the pets. Heh.) And what the hell was that ninja-judo-whajitsu move Raylan did to kill Bo's minion, grab his gun and then kick and catch the gun out of Bo's hand? Whoa."
(June 8, 2010, whiteotter, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Don't bring ninja-judo-whajitsu to a ninja-judo-nuke-o fight. Rookie mistake."

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


noun. Kaboom-iness.

Real citation: "@janellum or would that be splode-itude?"
(June 29, 2010, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Splode-itude is a great quality in a hand grenade, yet not so great in a blueberry scone."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

nether nozzle

noun. Depending on your culture, you may know it as a ding-ding, ding-a-ling, ding-dong, or purple-headed Yul Brynner impersonator.

Real citation: "6:27 p.m. Three teenage hitchhikers at L.K. Wood Boulevard and 14th Street freeway onramp may or may not have enhanced their chances at getting a ride when one lifted his shirt and licked his nipple, then unveiled his nether nozzle. These acts apparently scattered the populace, as no one was there when police arrived."
(May 26, 2010, Kevin L. Hoover, The Arcata Eye,

Made-up citation: "Dudes, don't take it so personally when they neuter your dog. Balls go bye-bye, but it's not like they take his nether nozzle too."

Monday, August 09, 2010


noun. A Hitchcockian nightmare that could ruffle some feathers.

Real citation: "Jesus christ some spilled dog food in the target parking lot, its seagull-mageddon."
(Aug. 6, 2010,
Miranda McCeig, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "A seagull-mageddon often leads to a vulture-pocalypse. You see, nature is like Big Bird on crystal meth."

Friday, August 06, 2010


noun. Finally, a society I can respect.

Real citation: "@Velourian A porkchop-ocracy?"
(June 9, 2010,
Holly Cruise, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "So far, porkchop-ocracy has been a success in every country and kitchen where it has been tried, if you forget about that pesky little string-bean genocide in 1981."

Thursday, August 05, 2010

dog toy squeaker-ectomy

noun. A procedure all vets are taught, in addition to how to weave a fine sweater out of hairballs.

Real citation: "@KristinaFields ah! the dog toy squeaker-ectomy.. so good!!"
(July 2, 1010, Kristy Perez, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Luckily, I've never had to do a dog toy squeaker-ectomy on my dog. He only eats orphan parts, which seem to go down smooth."

Wednesday, August 04, 2010


noun. A keen device, capable of detecting a certain movie-ruining critter.

Real citation: "@djeffcoate Rare occasions, when his Ewok-ometer is filled. Poor pastry lady. He's preparing an oven as we speak.."
(July 28, 2010,
Rhys Turner, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My mama told me, 'Don't try to catch a Klingon with an Ewok-ometer.' She also told me to stay away from the goats and my cousins. You know how mothers are!"

Tuesday, August 03, 2010


verb. Something the police keep requesting I do to myself, for SOME reason.

Real citation: "Un-naked-ifying another character: Next up: the quest to find reference pics for pants."
(July 28, 2010, Ellie Coral, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I never enjoy the un-naked-ifying process. Self-de-pants-ifying is so much more American."

Monday, August 02, 2010


noun. Closely related to the hoobie-woobies.

Real citation: "@le_Hutin That's 'Flanderese'. When we march, we can mock Flanders with diddly-doos and ingly-tinglies."
(July 30, 2010, Carson Fire, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Nothing gives me the ingly-tinglies quite like _______. Send $50 and I'll fill in the blank."