Friday, April 30, 2010


adj. I think I need to spend some time alone with this word before I can define it. Thank you.

Real citation: "@skodobah they are cookie-dough-gasmic. That they are."
(April 15, 2010,
Heidi Sutherlin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Baby, I love you! You're cookie-dough-gasmic! And I'm not just saying that because I'm a cannibal."

Thursday, April 29, 2010


noun. The reason I am currently a snotbucket. This coldpocalypse isn't helping either.

Real citation: "@raylougrif I bet. I was supposed to see the Apollo 13 program in person, but crashed and burned due to pollen-mageddon. Story of my life."
(April 15, 2010, James Cook, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There's only one way to beat a pollen-mageddon: voodoo. The only problem is making a voodoo doll small enough."

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


interjection. Because "yum" can't always get the job done.

Real citation: "@bruisinales Yum! Or: YAAAAAA-ummmm!"
(April 28, 2010, Maureen Ogle, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Can I tell you how I feel about bao, the Chinese steamed bun? One way I feel is YAAAAAA-ummmm. Another way is: I'd trade my children to pirates for them. I think I've said enough."


noun. A contraption that is downright un-American. Darn tootin'.

Real citation: "Don't confuse snow machines for ridin' w/lib gov't snow machine for controllin' weather. 2nd one is a snobamachine."
(April 26, 2010,
SP GhostTweeter, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "When choosing between a snobamachine and a slobamachine, I consider my feelings about squalor."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


adj. Pseudo-loser-esque.

Real citation: "Loser-y-ish. Really self? It's been 2 days...Lol."
(April 23, 2010, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Sometimes I feel loser-y-ish. Then I remember I'm Christina Hendricks' secret boyfriend. Then I give thanks to Xenu for this great blessing."

Monday, April 26, 2010


noun. An unintended consequence of the boobquake, much like Ragnarack.

Real citation: "@wordlust ...And perhaps Boobafjallajokull"
(April 26, 2010,
Catherine Thatch, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "There's no over-the-shoulder boulder-holder in the world that can contain the wrath of Boobafjallajokull. You can thank Mr. Jesus for that."


adj. Mmm...Spock-y.

Real citation: "Star Trek Online The Beginner Tutorial: After the Nimoy-licious opening cinematic, which sets…"
(April 22, 2010, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "On a scale of illogical to Nimoy-licious, how would you rate my brain?"

Friday, April 23, 2010

Tom Cruise-ified

adj. A sad and terrifying state that so many babes and movies have suffered.

Real citation: "Tom Cruise-ified Katie Holmes scares me. Bring back Joey Potter! #random"
(April 19, 2010,
Joy Landen Avery, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I don't like anything that has been Tom Cruise-ified except Tropic Thunder. With his dancing, swearing, and enormous paws, Cruise justified his existence to the gods--even Zeus, a tough critic."

Thursday, April 22, 2010


adj. Cuckoo for bodaciously batshit bonkers puffs.

Real citation: "its nice to kumpul. esp wit my crazy-loco-istic cousin, whom i proudly announce her name, LIA :P"
(April 13, 2010,
Meera Monday, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "We all do crazy-loco-istic things. Some smoke cigarettes or crack. Others are smoke monsters. You gotta have a hobby."

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

fuck no-edness

noun. A quality some say lacks a positive attitude and the goat-blood-soaked blessing of Oprah.

Real citation: "there's not enough 'fuck no'-edness in 'fuck no' to fully convey the 'fuck no'-ness of this idea. Here's an idea Acrobat team:"
(April 11, 2010,
John C. Welch, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "When choosing between
fuck no-edness and fuckedupedness, I make sure I'm not a beloved children's show host broadcasting live."

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


interjection. The sound of flesh-on-flesh or NASA's laser-death-ray on those stupid moon people.

Real citation: "The fact that I do like shaving (so I can hear my legs go 'zwip-zwoop' when I rub them together) aside, that article is pretty illuminating."
(April 18, 2010, Miranda M., Twitter,

Made-up citation: "'Zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop zwip-zwoop,' as I was saying to my lawyer."

Monday, April 19, 2010


noun. A keen, moral-tastrophe-detecting device.

Real citation: "@buckbuckaroo True, but kind of on the other end of the moral-outrage-ometer."
(April 7, 2010, Adam Gaffin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My moral-outrage-ometer broke years ago. I think it was about the same time I got a dungeon."

Friday, April 16, 2010


verb. Oh, go stuff it down your rabbit hole.

Real citation: "in the process of alice-in-wonderland-ifying my room"
(April 9, 2010, Vandiee, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I get a little bored by shows--cough*cough*Lost*cough--endlessly Alice-in-Wonderland-ifying stuff in a sloppy and vague way. Have we no other references? Let's give Tropic-Thunder-ifying a shot."

Thursday, April 15, 2010


noun. A problem that could be treated by an expert in yada-yada-ology.

Real citation: "Equality, environmentalism, feminism, I-don't-ever-want-to-shut-my-mouth-ism."
(April 11, 2010,
Madalena Fragoso, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I rarely suffer from I-don't-ever-want-to-shut-my-mouth-ism. It's just too rewarding to stuff a live meerkat in my piehole and listen to others."

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


noun. A celebrity featured in Satan Quarterly as well as TMZ.

Real citation: "@EJXD2 But has she heard 'Jungeland,' sung by the latest celebu-infidel?"
(April 5, 2010, Teresa Genaro, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I always wanted to grow up to be a celebu-infidel...or an armpit plucker. I'm flexible."

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


noun. A type of government found in What-a-clusterfuck-istan.

Real citation: "Iran's double-digit unemployment rate and double-digit inflation rate shows that this Regime is a failure-ocracy! #iranelection"
(April 5, 2010, Iran Hope, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I have always lived my life according to the principles of failure-ocracy. Hey, at least it's an ethos."

Monday, April 12, 2010


noun. A quality found in very few sons.

Real citation: "and in further proof of my bad-daughter-itude, Happy Birthday Mummy. Sorry it took me 6 hours to remember."
(April 10, 2010, LisaMoose, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I don't think my little girls will be full of bad-daughter-itude--not with names like
Skittles Blagojevich and Spatula Marie!"

Friday, April 09, 2010


noun. Some would-be life-snuffer-outers aren't up to snuff.

Real citation: "Ryder, in a cameo-size role, plays a serial-almost-killer who has been terrorizing the neighborhood by putting men in comas at the end of their dates. It's a total downer to see the once-great Ryder struggling through junk like this. Who gives a crap whether she's a shoplifter or not? She's a great actress, and she should be getting roles that match her talent--not shit like this."
(July 10, 2008, Bob Grimm, Tuscon Weekly,

Made-up citation: "Being a serial-almost-killer is a dubious distinction, kind of like being your mom."

Thursday, April 08, 2010


noun. Closely related to mine-mine-mine-mine-mine! syndrome.

Real citation: "Spontaneous DoWhateverTheFuckIwant-edness lol"
(March 19, 2010,
Gene Ashley III, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "As a life coach, I encourage my patients to embrace their DoWhateverTheFuckIWant-edness, after they help me with my pants. Rome wasn't built in a day."

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


noun. Boner-geddon! Or that other apocalypse-majiggy thing.

Real citation: "@crabbyolbastard @packetknife aargh, no hadron-pocalypse yet. Who's leg you gotta hump to get Ragnorak around here?"
(March 30, 2010,
Barky Bree, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I don't fear the hadron-pocalypse. If you haven't blown up the universe with a Large Hadron Collider, you haven't really lived at all."

Tuesday, April 06, 2010


noun. Sometimes the camera steals your soul AND beats you with the ugly stick.

Real citation: "I have to take a headshot of myself, which my non-photogenic-osity will not like."
(March 29, 2010, graciexoxxo, Twitter, link dead)

Made-up citation: "It must be tough living a life of non-photogenic-osity. As the star of 16 centerfolds, 976 tasteful online photo galleries, and my mother's refrigerator, I can't relate."

Monday, April 05, 2010


noun. Booze-ventures.

Real citation: "@J_Kenn LMAO! I might have to cut back on the drinking-capades now. I'm working like a full sched."
(March 25, 2010,
Chymere Hayes, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I have enjoyed many fine drinking-capades, but I barely survived my sojourn in Grain-alcohol-istan."

Friday, April 02, 2010


noun. Look deep into the eyes and non-soul of a douche hole, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: " others are to his douche-hole-iness. But his excuses fail on points of logic to me. Anyone knowing me well has seen my Vulcan side..."
(March 28, 2010,
Tanisha Austin, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "My therapist says I can't change my essential douche-hole-iness--or my underwear. I think it's time to get a new therapist."

Thursday, April 01, 2010


noun. I think we've identified the worst film genre in the world.

Real citation: "Tonight: FOLLOW THAT BIRD starring the venerable Big Bird as himself. Shocking PBS-ploitation at its most debased."
(March 26, 2010, Danny Shea, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Many contemporary stars began their careers in tawdry PBS-ploitation flicks. You don't even want to know which famous actress gave a handsie to Elmo. Hint: Meryl Streep."