Friday, July 31, 2009


noun. At last! The secret ingredient in awesomesauce.

Real citation: "Where the hell did they find this guy? There’s a 'boy who fell to Earth' quality about him, like David Bowie’s Lady Stardust come to life. It’s a little hard to believe that, until a few months ago, he was toiling away as an obscure understudy in the L.A. production of Wicked. He’s easily the most fun Idol ever, a flam-bam-boyantly queeny California boy who has devoted his nights to making Midwestern housewives slobber into their tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra. Whether he’s slutting up a rocker like 'Born to Be Wild' ('wiii-eeee-iiyaaaiild!') or sobbing his way through 'Mad World,' he oozes pure awesome-stosterone."
(May 13, 2009, Rob Sheffield, Rolling Stone,

Made-up citation: "Doctor, I need ten bags of awesome-stosterone, immediately! I need them coursing through my veins! Because I am a loser!"

Thursday, July 30, 2009


noun. A dumbass above all others! The assiest and dumbest of the lot.

Real citation: "Can the choice of a pot-smoking arch-liberal over a coke-snorting arch-dumbass really make a difference? You bet. You'd better believe it. When I picture my president, I want to feel like he'd be all relaxed... We definitely don't need that SOB (Son of Bush) Mr. GWB Jones with his twitchy, stinky finger poised over the giant, red, candy-like button, folks."
(Nov. 6, 2007, Deep in the Bush,

Made-up citation: "I have always aspired to be an arch-dumbass... But I am only a lowly numbnuts! Alas!"

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


noun. The sweet science. Well, maybe to a buttmunch.

Real citation: "Sounds like it's time for a career change.
I've heard there's lots of work for a journeymen buttmunch in your neck of the desert.
...and with your skill level in buttmunchology, in that bloomimg market, you should be able to command top dollar. :chili:
Sorry to hear things aren't 100%...or even half of that."
(June 15, 2004, FSB Forums,

Made-up citation: "My knowledge of buttmunchology is limited... I studied asswipes in college, you know."

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


noun. A paleo-thingy-saur.

Real citation: "It IS pretty amazing how that thing got through the laser hall, past the mutant gophers and through the secret passageway.....!
Or maybe that's another ptero-dino-whatsit....!"
(April 15, 2009, The Unofficial Forums of Dr. McNinja,

Made-up citation: "In a former life, I think I was a brave caveman, hunting the noble ptero-dino-whatsit. Or maybe a sea sponge... I've always understood the plight of the sea sponge so well..."

Monday, July 27, 2009


adj. May involve wowsers in your trousers.

Real citation: "Not that there wasn't plenty to love here. For one, pretty much every single thing Amy Acker touched was made of gold. Also, the reveal of Alpha's origins of getting all man-reactiony with Echo had some creepy symmetry with Victor and Sierra's storyline."
(May 9, 2009, "1-12: "Omega" 2009.05.08," Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Is it wrong that I feel all man-reactiony about a certain Martian lass, who shall never return my love, because of unfair and outdated astro-love-legislation?"

Sunday, July 26, 2009


adj. Part duck, part chicken, part turkey--and all fabulous. Wait... I'm thinking of the turducken. Never mind...

Real citation: "I think 'Glam-trashtastic' might just be my new favorite word."
(July 25, 2009, Zzubie, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Does my apartment qualify as glam-trashtastic? I'm looking for a word to replace squalor."

Saturday, July 25, 2009


noun. Looking for pulchritude? You came to the right place, bubba.

Real citation: "And if the silkies don't rate a '10′, there's always the flamboyant pulchritudinosity-ish-ness of pheasants and peacocks…."
(misterfricative, July 12, 2009, Language Log,

Made-up citation: "I like to drink in the pulchritudinosity-ish-ness of a perfect summer day, especially when also drinking a root-beer-and-grain-alcohol float."

Friday, July 24, 2009


noun. Did you know Benjamin Franklin invented the word "spiffy"? Or that Benjamin Franklin never existed? If so, I just pleasured your brain. That'll be thirty dollars.

Real citation: "Oh, this fic is amazing. The Slayer thing is so smoothly integrated into the universe it feels like it's always been there. It's not a huge, glaring LOOK AT ME I'M HERE thing that rushes to arrive to the amazing!revelation (tm). And then there's all the little plots and characters weaving in the foreground, and Mal is so painfully in character, and what you've done with Inara is so very interesting. And when you mentioned that people now assumed that demons and monsters were code words for other things (haha, real demons, surely you jest), I think I just had a geek-history-gasm. XD And now the Slayer weapon!"
(July 5, 2007,,

Made-up citation: "I tried putting the word 'geek-history-gasm' in my course descriptions, but the dean fired me. Now I'm teaching history on the street. I also have a crystal meth problem, and I could really use that thirty dollars."

Thursday, July 23, 2009


verb. Sometimes there's too much puffiness in a wedding, face, or smoking lounge...and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

Real citation: "So if you’re looking to depuff-ify and depink-ify your wedding planning efforts but could still use a little process and assistance along the way, here’s some ideas about how you might be able to put a couple of software and web apps to use for your wedding planning purposes…"
(April 18, 2007, Virsouq,

Made-up citation: "Officer! That man depuff-ified my Cheese Puffs! Oh, the cheese-manity!"

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


noun. A veritable yawn-pocalypse.

Real citation: "I was suddenly ambushed by a fatigue-o-splosion at Barnes and Noble."
(June 20, 2009, Dustin Gragg, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "After one night of lousy sleep, I was a walking fatigue-o-splosion the next day. I am a weak man. Guess that's why I sold secrets to the Russians and keep sleeping with your sister. Sorry, Mom!"

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


noun. I'm no mathematician. Consult your buttockologist.

Real citation: "Looks good in the front - This is super cute looking...however, rather than a light weight short underneath there are kind of thick panties. The problem with them is that they kind of give you quadri-butt....elastic needs to be a bit looser."
(June 11, 2008, Buzzillions,

Made-up citation: "If you had to choose between pancake ass and quadri-butt, would you forego having a tush altogether?"

Monday, July 20, 2009


adj. Not so Mother Theresa-ish/esque.

Real citation: "My nephew Sam Arthurs was born 2/7/2009 at 6.55am in the midst of an electrical storm, Noel joked the whole night was Dracula-ish/esque"
(July 2, 2009, Anthony Arthurs, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "We all have confidence. We all have doubt. But only a few of us have Dracula-ish/esque creepballs peeking in our window."

Sunday, July 19, 2009


noun. Oh my. An evil-doer with a creamy center? I can't take the cognitive dissonance. Beer, please!

Real citation: "Let's hear it for the choco-terrorist, the bosomy blonde Birgit who, with a little help from her friend Max Clifford, spread an eclair across Nick Brown's face and herself across the front page of every national newspaper."
(Feb. 14, 2000, Cristina Odone, New Statesman,

Made-up citation: "The choco-terrorist must be stopped. Bring him in dead or alive or digested."

Saturday, July 18, 2009


noun. A precise device capable of measuring when the moon will crush California or I will get tattoos of Count Chocula and Vic Mackey on my butt (my testicles--those rowdy boys--are a different story).

Real citation: "The Snowball's-Chance-in-Hell-O-Meter
The Eight People Fighting to Be Your Next Mayor"
(July 7, 2009, Dominic Holdem, The Stranger,

Made-up citation: "I think my snowball's-chance-in-hell-o-meter is broken. If not, maybe this is the year PJ Harvey starts returning my calls..."

Friday, July 17, 2009

moral turditude

noun phrase. Because "turpitude" isn't pooey enough for this craptastic world of felgercarb.

Real citation: "Is 'moral turpitude' going to become the next "please explain"? It should, but it won't, of course. Why? Because primitive, tribal squits will never attack one of their own. They always employ a double standard best described as moral turditude."
(May 27, 2003, Die, Fluffy Wuffy, Die!,

Made-up citation: "My wealth of moral turditude is probably caused by a lack of moral fibre. Or I just don't have a soul, like Mom always said."

Thursday, July 16, 2009


adj. Lacking all bebunnitude.

Real citation: "There is nothing anti-Baltic about seeing beef tartar, which first gained popularity as a restaurant dish in Latvia and Estonia during the latter decades of the 19th century when they were still part of Russia, as a way-station in the process that began with meat tenderized and marinated under the saddle, and continued as the deutsches Beefsteak, the hamburg steak, and then bifurcated into the bebunned hamburger and the unbebunned Salisbury steak."
(April 24, 2006,

Made-up citations: "Bun theorists are fascinated by unbebunned hot dogs and librarians. No wonder bunology is such a thriving academic discipline."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


adj. Brain go kaboom! Or anti-kaboom. There's definitely a boom.

Real citation: "Brain feels a little implode-or-explode-ish, but I'm so close to finishing my 3rd chapter, I can taste it!!! Time for belated lunch, first."
(July 13, 2009, Lauren Hall-Lew, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Too much coffee makes my bowels swirl in an implode-or-explode-ish cauldron of toxic ick. Then I take the Browns to the Super Bowl, and all is well."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus

noun. A rare beast seldom found in the digital wilds.

Real citation: "One other thing is I'm finally dealing with a problem that has presented itself to me since I started grad school. By that time I had achieved enough financial power to have a laptop throughout grad school. Ever since I purchased the laptop I've been caught between the almost extinct Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus and the electronic world of research and writing. I have always been a bit of a TechnoNerd so I was leaning heavily toward being fully electronic but several stumbling blocks kept me caught between two worlds:"
(March 11, 2009, Just Jen,

Made-up citation: "Observe the Index Cardus Notetaking-asaurus in its natural habitat! Note its plumage! Look at its strange sexual predilections! (Only $50)."

Monday, July 13, 2009


noun. A cavewoman?

Real citation: "Ezrael, as an aside, I would like to point out that at times Jon needs others to tell him when he's going too far. It was my belief that he did so with the paleo-lady. I pointed it out, and the behavior changed."
(July 31, 2002, Jon Sullivan Diary,

Made-up citation: "I know how to treat a paleo-lady. After a dino-carriage ride and some fire-discovering, we go back to my cave to 'invent the wheel,' if you know what I mean."

Sunday, July 12, 2009


interjection. What's that you were saying? I was busy surveying my kingdom.

Real citation: "Seriously? You thought someone broke into your house and stole your cat because he has a twitter account? AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM."
(July 10, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "I have a positive attitude. Whenever the little people saying AHEMdelusionsofgrandeurAHEM, I hear only booyahs, whoo-hoos, bravos, and attaboys, along with whistles and whoops of approval/envy/worship/lust. I love those little people."

Saturday, July 11, 2009


noun. Sigh. Where's an abyss when you really need one?

Real citation: "the importance of individual productions is tantamount to the production of an individual, where the other comes from, the self gains space, understandings, questions, fears, anxiety -- but paramount is the production, for when one starts w/ nothing & ends up witha mountain, one asks, "from whence these peaks has this view formed?" & an ever-building altitude is essential for contribution to our great endeavor, so thank you Matt, for taking the time & writing it all down, openly, honestly, w/ heart & vigor -- the influences are to be celebrated, their sweat has given us greater platform away from the abyss/ toward the abyss -- to embrace the abyss via an unrelenting abysslessness thru conduit of self-constructing materiality."
(Sept. 15, 2008, Santiago's Dead Wasp,

Made-up citation: "I wondered why I was having such a great day... Then it hit me: the abysslessness! That jailbreak didn't hurt either."

Friday, July 10, 2009


adj. Some situations are crying out for an "arghh". Others require a "spluh!" or "aaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeee!"

Real citation: "... A year later they get all arghh-ified. I do think it should be called 'Left 2 Die'. lol"
(June 10, 2009, Tyler Axtell, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Your yodeling is solid and shows promise... Now let's try it again--but more arghh-ified and Tom Waits-y."

Thursday, July 09, 2009


verb. House apes begone! Farewell, crotchfruit!

Real citation: "De-kid-ifying myself after the holiday rush at work. First step, practice speaking like an adult. Second step, stop blowing raspberries. :)"
(July 4, 2009, Elle White, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Our company specializes in de-kid-ifying and de-demon-ifying: We're the first daycare staffed with trained exorcist practitioners. You're welcome, America!"

Wednesday, July 08, 2009


noun. Like bejesus and besatan, but more scientology-y.

Real citation: "seven!? how the bexenu did that happen?"
(May 26, 2008, Paradox Interactive Forums,

Made-up citation: "When Thor was a kid, Zeus and Papa Smurf used to scare the bexenu out of him... That's before the little guy found his mystical hammer; you can only feel so secure with a mystical snorkel."

Tuesday, July 07, 2009


adj. I should've got this entry sponsored. I wonder if Target would be interested...

Real citation: "Mc-Muffin-gasmic. That looks better than my McDonalds addiction mc-muffins."
(Jan. 7, 2009, Healthy. Happy. Life.,

Made-up citation: "True fact: Many women can only achieve a Mc-Muffin-gasmic state when eating pancakes."

Monday, July 06, 2009

catastrophic crotch failure

noun phrase. A serious condition of the groinal region not recommended by nurse practitioners or fashion consultants.

Real citation: "Emily: I'm too hot to put my clothes back on.
Chris: My black combat fatigues had catastrophic crotch failure.
Karen, after a camera flash: Ah! My retinas!"
(May 18, 2007, The Beadbonny Ash,

Made-up citation: "If God didn't want me to have catastrophic crotch failure, he wouldn't have sent an angel to rip my pants."

Sunday, July 05, 2009


adj. Spooooooooky. Zombies may arise!

Real citation: "There is nothing more voodoo-istical than a Moody bond rating. Berkshire? Down another notch would be appropriate."
(April 8, 2009, The New York Times,

Made-up citation: "I'm firing my trusted spiritual adviser. Gonna spice things up with a sketchy voodoo-istical maniac. Tough economy, you know?"

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Fatal Attraction-ization

noun. A bunny-boiling process, methinks.

Real citation: "'Pinguinos' Yeah. Don't try THAT at home. Not in mine anyhow. ;) Fatalattraction-ization of Arjona starts."
(June 8, 2009, Twitter,

Made-up citation: "Prepare for the Fatal Attraction-ization of Sesame Street. Elmo's got a stalker!"

Friday, July 03, 2009

soap opera villain-y

adj. Not to be confused with evil twin-y.

Real citation: "When I think of a mad scientist, I think of a guy actively involved in, you know, science stuff. Weird experiments, crazy inventions, and the like. They’re trying to accomplish something, they’ve got some kind of goal. In that respect, the villain in the 1944 train wreck The Monster Maker isn’t really a mad scientist, he’s just sort of a jerk. I mean, he’s a scientist. And he’s definitely mad. Yet all he really does is inject people with a disfiguring disease and then blackmail them for the cure. You don’t have to be a mad scientist to do that. It’s not really mad scientist-y at all. It’s actually kind of soap opera villain-y. Boo."
(Sept. 6, 2008, UncleBear,

Made-up citation: "I'm seeking a soap opera villain-y seductress with a swanky snorkel. Just like Mom..."

Thursday, July 02, 2009


noun. The science of yada yada, blah blah, and you-figure-it-out-cakes.

Real citation: "Then, there were documentaries produced by Discovery and National Geographic channels, in which various "experts" in history, theology, archeology, whatever-whatever-ology were interviewed and asked to prove Brown right or wrong. These were at least interesting to watch, but the only conclusion I made watching them was - you know your book is a superb success when they call in experts to prove you wrong. Then, there was even a lawsuit! (Come on la! People will do anything to get quick money)."
(May 23, 2006, Ahem!,

Made-up citation: "According to leading scholars of whatever-whatever-ology, this kajigger cannot be fixed with a doowhackey. It requires a thingamabob."

Wednesday, July 01, 2009


adj. Like bepancaked, but not as breakfast-y.

Real citation: "When you plumb in the jacuzzi for the hedgehog you'll get stung.
If you're a low user then it should only be good for you, and you're in control (to a large extent, not entirely) how much you spend on water.
The besnorkled one should bound into view soon enough."
(Jan. 7, 2008,,

Made-up citation: "Behold the besnorkled buffoon! This human zoo is awesome."