Friday, February 29, 2008


noun. Nurse, the neurospatula please!

Real citation: "Then the Cylons send him back to the fleet seemingly hoping at the very least he'll share some of his mind-forever-frakked-uppedness."
(stillshimpy, "3-8: "Hero" 2006.11.17," Nov. 18, 2006, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Local researchers reveal that dating results in several predictable outcomes: intercourse, outercourse, mind-forever-frakked-uppedness, dinner, denial, acceptance, and clean apartments that had never been clean before."


noun. A cuddly kitten who will steal your heart in a second. Jesus, are the editors high again? Make that: A cuddly whackopath who will eat your heart in an omelet.

Real citation: "In my capacity as Vanity Fair columnist and issuer of edicts, I am officially designating next Monday the 14th as Roy Scheider Day.
Is it is his birthday? Non. What occasions this salute is Scheider's guest appearance on a special Monday night edition of Law & Order: Criminal Intent, an episode titled "Endgame" in which he plays an orange-jumpsuited super-sado-psychokiller who taunts Vincent D'Onofrio's Goren into a snorting-nostril, meaty-chokehold Big Mac fury. Just pushes all his buttons, man."
(James Wolcott, May 9, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Do not be judgmental, brother. Inside every super-sado-psychokiller is a super-sado-psycholover, yearning to be free."

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

crotchish area

noun. A sensitive region on the south side.

Real citation: “yeah its on the inside, but its not on my nut, its on like my crotchish area, im going to get it checked out soon, so i will update”
(July 21, 2005,

Made-up citation: "My crotchish area certainly prefers the winter to summer. It's nice to leave the ballsweatometer in the past--a moist, melancholy memory."


adj. A golden era we shall not see again.

Real citation: "The loss of the world's ice bergs aside, some of the latest catastrophic predictions from the IPCC include massive increases in 'flooding, drought, wildfire, insects, ocean acidification,' and, 'Many millions more people are projected to be flooded every year due to sea-level rise by the 2080s.' It's important to note that the United States, China, Russia and the Saudis lobbied to change the language in that sentence. The original pre-doofus-lobbying language: 'hundreds of millions of people,' according to the New York Times."
(April 9, 2007, The Huffington Post,

Made-up citation: "My pre-doofus-lobbying life was full of quiet dignity. Now, doofi abound."


adj. Meatbag! Skintube! Fleshwad! Pork pouch! Organ sack! Coffin-stuffer!

(Thanks to Futurama’s Bender for providing the vocabulary that will enrich the lives of killbots for generations to come).

Real citation: “There’s something very ‘human-beingy' about glasses. Maybe ‘cause they cost money and you have to interact with a sales-person and choose frames for them that are personalized to your taste.”
(Stan Apps, Nov. 28, 2004, refried ORACLE phone,

Made-up citation: “Rats have human-beingy hands, and humans have ratfinkish souls. Nature is symmetrical.”


adj. Some things have nothing to do with feces, you toilet-brained poopoobuckethead.

Real citation: “On Mile 118 of the Alaska Highway, in a little townlet known as Kluane (Kloo-awn-nee) Village, lies the self-proclaimed ‘Burl Capital of the Yukon.’ Some guy known as Scully takes these burls – rounded outgrowths from the trunks of trees – and turns them into both homey knick-knacks (polished bowls, etc.) and semi-frightening (some would say ‘primitive’) art. He’s the type of guy who’ll open up his store for you but leave to go finish his dinner, who’ll post signs like ‘Feel Free to Not Buy Anything,’ who’s published a book of aphorisms and will knock a buck off the price if you ask him to autograph it. The type of guy to name his non-turd-oriented business ‘The Blue Moose Turd Factory.’ Stop by, won’t you?”
(June 23, 2004, Heart on a Stick,

Made-up citation: “In winter, my short-haired, tiny dog makes few adventures into the outside world that are non-turd-oriented.”

Monday, February 25, 2008


noun. A strange ranger with an active noise-hole.

Real citation: "9:29 a.m. Back at the bus on Virginia Way, a fed-up neighbor reported the campers having stayed the night there. This time a spokesnomad told police that the groovy bus was broken down and that Monday morning, the occupants would go get the parts to fix it. She denied camping."
(Kevin L. Hoover, "Arcata Police Log - August 11, 2003: Spokesnomad Obfuscates," The Arcata Eye,

Made-up citation: "God requires many spokesnomads. The spokespretzels can't do it all."


noun. A Muslim-y alternative to "bejesus".

Related terms: bezeus.

Real citation: “MIM: In an article headlined 'Allah be praised' the writer joked that the Muslims had taken over an old church scaring the 'bejeezus(the beallah?) out of many of their neighbors'."
(Jan. 11, 2007, Daily Diatribe,

Made-up citation: "In 2007, marauders beat the bejesus, the beallah, the beodin, and the holy hell out of me. It was an interdenominational can of whup-ass, opened by angels."

Sunday, February 24, 2008


noun. An old jiggydoodle.

Related terms: socio-psycho-whatsit.

Real citation: “if there's a realtionship between the length of the word and the injury you need a new name for your cut knee when it's that gross (photos=bad). Maybe Digimon had the right idea - mash words together and call it a mega-yukky-scabby-bleedy-kneehole-asaurus-stitchymon, that'll out-do Connor and his paleo-whatsit!”
(June 1, 2007,

Made-up citation: “I lost my paleo-whatsit amidst the paleo-pizza and ancient ruins of a once-proud doggie bag in my fridge. Can you buy nukes online yet?”


noun. A system of government that, hey, might be worth a shot. Being enslaved by mindless flesh-eaters could be a step in the right direction.

Real citation: “Y’all are Irish on St Patties, furry and Xstatic on the playa, wasted and weepy on New Year’s Eve. and undead on Halloween. In short, you will make perfect subjects for the coming plutocratic zombocracy.”
(Oct. 24, 2007, Laughing Squid,

Made-up citation: “Zombocracy has proven an efficient and business-friendly way of life. All those fried-brain restaurants really give the economy a boost and the palate a zing.”


noun. 1) The primal essence of Humphrey Bogart. 2) Your annoying habit of bogarting the joint, my patience, or the farmer's daughter.

Real citation: “The smoky B&W cinematography, the moody score, the hard-boiled dialogue, the femme fatale ("What else is there that I can buy you with?"), the quirky supporting performances by Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet (who both turned out the next year with Bogie in 'Casablanca', probably not coincidentally) and the very Bogartitude of it all are simply intoxicating.”
(Montreal Film Journal,

Made-up citation: "After eight years of Commander Cuckoo-Bananas, his blatant, boneheaded bogartitude of the Presidency is almost over!"


adj. Enlightened; edumacated; learning-juiced.

Real citation: "Thanks guys, I feel so de-ignorant-ized."
(OrHeSaid, "Come on buddy, use words: The Office lexicon," Dec. 20, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Grad school de-ignorant-ized my mind while fattening my body and de-soulifying my soul. That's a big win for grad school."

Friday, February 22, 2008


noun. A word appearing in few resumes, obituaries, and personal ads.

Real citation: “Back in the 1940s, the sex surveys of entomologist-turned-bedroomologist Kinsey shattered conventional wisdom about sexual behaviors, sold like hot cakes, and demonstrated that many more people engage in behaviors deemed deviant than their public faces admit.”
(Eric Allen Hatch, City Paper Online, Nov. 24, 2004,

Made-up citation: “I never required the services of an entomologist-turned-bedroomologist—until that fateful night when romance, live cockroaches, sweet Betty Lou, and a bucket of grain alcohol came into my life.”


noun. A wad with feathers. A wad without courage. A wad, let us pray, with blue cheese.

Real citation: “Comparing Tillman to Cindy Sheehan just shows you for the chickenwad gutless worm you are”
(May 25, 2007, Politico,

Made-up citation: “In utero, my mom used to call me 'chickenwad' and 'placenta-mooch.' I started therapy during the third trimester.”

Thursday, February 21, 2008


noun. A robo-pooch at the height of its youth and adorability.

Real citation: “Did I ever tell you how enchanting you are? You’re going to have the other mech’s following you around like lost mechanopuppies. They won’t be able to help themselves.”
(Sept. 16, 2007,

Made-up citation: “My new mechanopuppy never listens to me! He’s always chewing my slippers, deprogramming the DVR, and peeing robo-death-sauce on my futon.”


noun. A victim of mental mangling. In layman’s terms, a neurodoublefucked numbskull.

Related term: brainsuckee.

Real citation: “Now, I've only taken small amounts of cannabis and (larger amounts of) alcohol, so I'm hardly an experienced mindbendee; thus, it could be quite difficult to explain the precise experience.”
(Nov. 9, 2007, Erowid Experience Vaults,

Made-up citation: “Better a mindbendee than a comboveree, according to Nostradamus.”

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


noun. Along with Beelzebama and McSatan, one of the lucky devils left in the race to be the next hellspawn-in-chief.

Real citation: "Just shut up and vote Republican already….. You know you want to….. Or would you rather let BeelzeHillary win?"
(March 27, 2007, Conservative Heritage Times,

Made-up citation: "I am an atheist when it comes to God, angels, aliens, hobbits, astrology, BeelzeHillary, Batman, Zeus, the force, underground molemen, and most kinds of pigmen. Did I leave anyone out, Odin, my sweet Nordic master?"

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


noun. Quadriboobage’s less numerous cousin: a holy—or is that unholy?—trinity of breastaciousness.

Real citation: “oh, hey- i know how to avoid muffin top: you wear what my daughter calls 'mom jeans.' they go all the way up to the actual waist, like in the 80s. no muffin top. i do, however, now have two belly rolls the exact same distance 'out' as my boobs. the bottom two are like tube-o-boob. muffin top or tri-boobedness? to each his own . . .”
(July 15, 2007, bits&pieces,

Made-up citation: “To a Martian, tri-boobedness is ooh-la-la. To an earthling, well…ooh-la-la-la-ouch.”


noun. They don’t make mimbos like they used to, according to Pa.

Real citation: “With that new understanding in place, it goes without saying that I couldn't permit myself to write a column last week heading into the Super Bowl. You put a keyboard in my hands, and not only would it become patently obvious that I have THOUSANDS of different ways to skewer the dirty cheating Patriots and their quarterback (who is a rare and elusive Half-Manbimbo, Half-Ladyboy), but it'd be pretty clear that I was a cautiously optimistic NY Giants fan.”
(Rick Scaia, Feb. 7, 2008, Online Onslaught,

Made-up citation: “With some gym time, minor surgery, and a tasteful boyzillian, I hope to achieve half-manbimbo status by July.”

Monday, February 18, 2008


adj. Power to the people! Ish!

Real citation: “He said Iraq would be step 1 in a series of many steps to make the world safe and all democracy-y.”
(The Daily Raider,

Made-up citation: “I no longer desire a democracy-y existence. I’ve turned my life over to dark-avenger-y, dominatrix-sex-kitten-y, diaper-faced, dog-ass-flavored divorcey-weds.


noun. A step-something who is held in the not-so-highest esteem.

Real citation: “About the no dishwasher thing, my mom's house doesn't have one and they ended up getting a mini protable one??? I think that's what it is anyways. I'm not sure how it works but I can ask her if you want me too, that way you'll have an option!! LOL A smaller dishwasher works for them 'cause it's only her, my step-butthead (oh, I mean step-dad, don't much care for him), and my little bro that lives there now so not really a lot of dishes.”
(Aug. 18, 2006,

Made-up citation: “My childhood was hard. I grew up with a step-butthead, a step-buttmunch, a nimwad-in-law, a trio of chinchillas, and an angel with a broken collarbone. Want to be my girlfriend?”


noun. Look deep into the steaming essence of a piece of crap and this is the kind of shit ye shall find.

Real citation: “I did take a photo but as my camera's USB cable is Goddess knows where, I can't post piccies yet:(:(:(. Pooitude.” (Snowgrouse, Feb. 5, 2007,

Made-up citation: "You think you've had bad dates? I doubt they compare to Judy McGuire's night of paramour pooitude, one of many gnarly and enlightening tales in her new book."


noun. A sexually and robotically transmitted disease that is also petite.

Real citation: "Oooo, you're creeping me out here. A cylon STD. Or a nano-cylo-std, or sumthin? Anyway, I kinda like it. Of course if Six gave it to Baltar before the first attacks, he's probably already spread it all over the colonies anyway. Slut. ;)"
(AshBlue, "They Have A Plan?!: SPOILER DISCUSSION," March 8, 2007, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "Did your fembot give your blender a nano-cylo-std? This is not a scientific survey."

Sunday, February 17, 2008


adj. May involve rubber duckies and a sponge bath--if you’re lucky. Or horribly ill.

Real citation: “I bet more people die by falling in their bathtubs. You want to pass a bathtubular homicide law too? Convict the guy who built my house for not putting flowered stickers in my tub!
(Sept. 16, 2006, Metroblogging Portland,

Made-up citation: “I switched my major to advanced bathtubular biology after discovering new worlds and new civilizations in my skanky tub. FYI: I am their God.”


adj. I am reeling from the popeliness and Vaticanosity.

Real citation: “Do they make a Popemobile golf cart? 'cause that would be pontifferiffic.”
(Jan. 14, 2002, ZUG: Comedy Conversations,

Made-up citation: “I’m sorry, Mr. Jenkins. We were hoping to hire someone more pontifferiffic for the position. However, we did like your papal scepter, and we wish you all the best in your future endeavors."

Friday, February 15, 2008


noun. Christmas came early for the doomistical among us. Mommy, can I have one too? I mean, may I have the doowhacker of death…

Related terms: crapamajig, foozamabob, socio-psycho-whatsit, thingahoosits, whatchamacrap.

Real citation: “’Time to unleash my Devasting-Thing-of-Enemy-Doomamajig!’ ‘I'm going I'm going!’ ‘Boy those guys are sure in for a surprise when I defeat them with my Spiralling-Doom-Sword-of-Gnomish-Designamathing!’”
(World of Warcraft,;jsessionid=685E94961F458DF5EFED763F2D76A7EF?topicId=11932070&postId=322171945&sid=1)

Made-up citation: “In the 22nd century, doomamajigs will be like Pez dispensers. Everyone will be able to blow up a building or moon with a portable, affordable, plastic thingy that looks like Princess Leia.”


noun. A dude with balls and gills. What a catch.

Real citation: “As we learn, in Mer-world there is no such thing as love, or at least this is what her mer-oldman has been trying to run up on her, to mollify her heartbreak at being foresworn to wed a mer-fella for which she has no feelings. Alas, she is betrothed to some sap of a sea-dweeb, yet she is the only one unhappy about it as the coupling represents an advantageous circumstance for the parents involved - a good family merger. Still Aqua knew there was something missing - something she's heard whispered across the waves. A crazy little thing called love.”
(2006, zBoneman Movie Reviews,

Made-up citation: “And then the dashing sea-dweeb fell in love with a beautiful sea sponge. They went on to have many mutant hybrids and profitable webpages.”

Thursday, February 14, 2008


verb. A widespread, systematic attempt to hornball up the unsuspecting, chaste populace.

Real citation: “You know what I find MORE offensive than the New Year mass mailings? Hoochy pop sexuality that's meant to mass-hormonify/desensitize everyone who's exposed to it, performed by strung out negligent moms.”
(Sept. 12, 2007, Kumah,

Made-up citation: “While my rival’s health care plan is a thinly disguised effort to sterilize and then kill everyone, I will sow love instead—individually, if necessary. My conjugalicious health initiative will mass-hormonify the nation, putting a rocket in every pocket and a baby in your bathwater.”


noun. The only known cure for Satan-mentum.

Real citation: “Feel the God-mentum!”
(Jan. 16, 2008,

Made-up citation: “After unknowingly baking a carrot cake that resembles John the Baptist, I am enjoying God-mentum like I’ve never known. Even Zombie Jesus can’t stop me.”

bank robberette

noun. Much like a proctologistette, but with interests more financial than assticular.

Real citation: “Woman robbed bank, County Sheriff's Officers caught bank robberette as she ran out on foot. Nobody hurt.”
(Jan. 3, 2007, Southern Maryland Online,

Made-up citation: “On Valentine’s Day, a bank robberette stole my heart, my wallet, and my bank. And it was worth it.”

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


adj. No hippies were used in the making of this definition.

Real citation: “USAF wanted a manned spacecraft so they could be all military-y in space, with manned spy stations, satellites, and maybe research into orbital bombardment (see DynaSoar, RoBo, etc.)
(June 21, 2006,

Made-up citation: “I prefer Presidents whose background is military rather than military-y, because, you know, knowledge is power or something.”


noun. That little toaster you spoil rotten, and take to the nanolab, and shower with bagels--if you are a robo-fornicator with robo-kids of kids of kids.

Real citation: “Hey, the day they tore apart my Great-Great Grandbot was a day I'll never forget...”
(March 14, 2006,

Made-up citation: “The great-great-grandbots are the future. Also, the killbots will play a role.”

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


noun. An apparition who is not the suavest knife in the drawer.

Real citation: “Oh, you mean the ghost? Congratulations, you have a polterdork.”
(Dec. 17, 2007, FF Today Forums,

Made-up citation: “This polterdork is annoying, terrifying, and embarrassing. I guess all the polterbabes were busy…”


adj. Used to describe citizens who are firmly holding onto sanity with both hands, both feet, and three invisible tentacles. Wait a minute…

Real citation: “ This Public Service announcement was brought to you by the Insane Fen Posse, non-batshit-loco division.”
(Sept. 26, 2007, DentriteJungle,

Made-up citation: “I am pleased that John McCain is the new worst-case scenario for the Presidency. Yay for non-batshit-loco Republicans!”

Monday, February 11, 2008


noun. An elected representative of the common buttmunch.

Related terms: congressasshat, congressrodent, congresswad.

Real citation: “few know that most of Murtha’s service time was in the reserves with any deployment deferred because he was a sitting congressbutt.”
(Sept. 7, 2006, Sweetness & Light,

Made-up citation: “A governorface is more likely to become presidentwad than a congressbutt, according to enrollees in the pre-K political science program.”


adj. Preferable to polar-bear-bepooped.

Related terms: cat-bepooped.

Real citation: “Future generations of youth could sit on the pigeon-bepooped benches to reflect: ‘Wow. The Man.’“
(John Boston, May 21, 2007, The Signal,

Made-up citation: “The first time I met Jackson Mac Low, I was thoroughly pigeon-bepooped. Despite my flowing locks and poetic gifts, he wasn’t impressed.”

Sunday, February 10, 2008


noun. Mammary protuberances with deadly, minion-of-doom-type responsibilities.

Related terms: henchboobs, hench-bunny-men, henchchicken, henchdoofus, henchdork, henchgoon, henchho, henchmoron, henchnoncorporeal being, henchscum.

Real citation: “Spectre (1977): (four henchbreasts). Two witchunter generals investigate whether a British noble family is possessed by Satan. Do they really not know the answer? Only one notable plot quirk kept me from fast-forwarding: the main character has no heart. No really, he's got the x-rays to prove it, and a tale about how his heart has been stolen and implanted in a doll somewhere and he must find that doll. All of which would have been awesome if it was ever mentioned again after the first 15 minutes. Resolution, people. Shout out to the Demon Ho's, a chorus of Satanic backup dancers who like to party and have difficulty keeping it all in their red lycra outfits. Like if the Solid Gold dancers found Satan.”
(Nov. 4, 2004, Viridis Monster,

Made-up citation: “Soldiers, your job is to apprehend these henchbreasts. You’ll be equipped with a SWAT team and a supportive yet comfortable bra.”


noun. Crap to the sixth power of suck. Or so. I’m not a mathematician. I have needs, you know!

Real citation: “Rare is the turd-burger so complete in its crapitudinousness that it achieves greatness. Hm. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
(April 19, 2006, Ye Olde Comick Booke Blogge,

Made-up citation: “Ah… A weekend of cleaning, cold, and crapitudinousness has been alleviated by the arrival of Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs, from which I learned the word ‘schmohawk' and how to ruin a marriage. Now I just need a wife and I am set.”

Saturday, February 09, 2008


adj. Something smells problematic, graduate-school-y, and engorged with implications that could alter the course of my dissertation forever!

Real citation: “Yeah, there is a socio-psycho-whatsit response to be made and all kinds of doodah about equality and context and privilege, but... gorgeous clothes! Naked submissive men! That's like... one nice thing, and another nice thing!”
(Aug. 30, 2007, Catwalk Queen,

Made-up citation: “My socio-psycho-whatsit is on the fritz. Luckily, I keep a back-up bucket of brain bleach next to the tub.”

Thursday, February 07, 2008


noun. The committee has determined that this condition requires no elaboration.

Real citation: “But fisting-induced fibromyalgia? Maybe skidmarkalgia can be induced by fisting, FF, but not fibromyalgia.”
(Dan Savage, Feb. 5, 2008, Village Voice,,savage,79044,24.html)

Made-up citation: “I didn’t become a doctor to massage your feelings. I became a doctor to cure your skidmarkalgia with a big bottle of glue.”


adj. All the time in the world…minus some of the time in the world.

Real citation: “How about feeling....jelly fishish...or electric eelish ...or starfishish...or sea anemeaish...oh the possiblities are endlessish...”
(Jan. 11, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Even though Lost is an endlessish stream of meaningless jibber-jabber, I keep watching. Something must be wrong with me. Maybe I have a brain tumor—like that lawyer who sees George Michael in the commercials that make me want to die in a fiery pit, watery grave, or whatever is available.”


adj. I’ll take your “pro-binky” and raise you five hyphens.

Real citation: “Here's the story of my life: pre-kid, I had no opinion on pacifiers, pro or con. (I think I was too busy having other child-rearing opinions that would turn out to have little in common with my own parenting reality.) Then when my daughter was born and turned out to prefer screaming to sleeping and I was going a little crazy, I decided three days old was just the right time to develop a first addiction, and I did not care if she ended up in braces for life or took it to college with her. I popped a pacifier in her mouth, she sucked for 10 seconds, and then looked really annoyed and spit it out. I tried again. This time she spit it about a foot and gave me a rageful look that said, ‘Do you think I'm an idiot? Nothing's coming out of that!’ I only tried maybe 30 more times after that, and never had even a little bit of success. That's what I get for being pro-binky-nuk-sucky-lovey-ya-ya I guess.
(Feb. 9, 2007, The Poop: The Chronicle Baby Blog,

Made-up citation: “I will only raise my child in a pro-binky-nuk-sucky-lovey-ya-ya environment. Or in a barn with wolves, whatever.”


noun. When a robot loves a hard drive…magic.

Real citation: “hello fellow mechaphiles. I thought I might open a contest up to whoever wanted to stroke my robo-libido and also get somehting for their efforts this comeing summer.”
(April 8, 2005, SheezyArt,

Made-up citation: “Control your robo-libido, can’t you! You’re a killbot, not a sexbot. You should be ripping my lungs out, not charming my pants off, God damn you.”

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


adj. Not so nummy.

Real citation: “Also, it appears he's angling towards a position as Vader's wingman, which by all reason should be an atrocitylicious position.”
(July 19, 2006, Jedi Council Forms,

Made-up citation: “His run for the Presidency abruptly ended after a cackling call for an atrocitylicious health care system.”


noun. A fine, fine, euphemistic mess indeed.

Related terms: clusterboink, clusterbop, clustercoitus, clusterduck, clusterfiretruck, clusterfornicate, clusterfrack, clusterfreak, clusterfrell, clusterfrick, clusterfrig, clusterfrog, clusterfug, clusterhump, clusterplook, clusterpork, clusterschmuck, clustersmurf.

Real citation: “So what happens then? The usual clusterspork of wasted time-outs, delay of game penalties, and false starts, culminated by Heiden and Winslow getting crossed up on their routes, with Anderson choosing to throw to the wide open Detroit linebacker since Winslow was being covered so closely by Heiden. That's some fine leadership shown there,“
(Mitch Cyrus, Aug. 22, 2007, The Cleveland Fan,

Made-up citation: “’Clusterspork’ and ‘in the poo-poo’ are the latest military slang, rising in popularity since dropping standards for enlistees filled many squadrons with preschoolers.”

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


adj. Jolly good, I reckon.

Real citation: “Lexx is fansmurfingtastic and everybody needs to watch it.”
(July 31, 2006, Eyes on Final Fantasy,

Made-up citation: "The first three quarters of the Super Bowl were blah....but sweet mother of monkey, that fourth quarter was the most fansmurfingtastic thing I've seen in my life."


noun. And you thought leghumpers were deplorable.

Real citation: “thatss0epic: Give me insults
thatss0epic: Names
Melissa Is Deck: names?
Melissa Is Deck: like
Melissa Is Deck: stupidhead
Melissa Is Deck: frog-scacked goatwrangler
Melissa Is Deck: sore-assed crackwiper
Melissa Is Deck: pea-flavored rectumguzzler
Melissa Is Deck: lice-lipped vaginaslug
Melissa Is Deck: pickle-sacked prickweed
Melissa Is Deck: floppy-mouthed gutterhumper
thatss0epic: That so gets eljayed
Melissa Is Deck: hahahaha, yes!@”
(July 31, 2006,

Made-up citation: "Are you dating a gutterhumper? If so, you may legally qualify as a gutter."

Monday, February 04, 2008

princess of darkness-y

adj. Probably not a nun. Unless... Does Satan have nuns?

Real citation: "My apologies! In my eagerness to post (and sleep-deprived state of mind) I forgot to specify that I meant Lucifer as in Beelzebub, Miz Mephistopheles herself. An 'angel of god' sent, in part, to bring about the end of humanity? Very Princess of Darkness-y, regardless of whether she actually is or not."
(drgnfille, "2-7: "Home, Part II" 2005.08.26," Aug. 27, 2005, Television Without Pity,

Made-up citation: "I'm a little bored with my fembot. I'm thinking of taking her back to Target. Unless... Can you give her a princess of darkness-y makeover and new coat of paint?"


noun. A tallywhacker-head of bullish, Shakespearian proportions.

Real citation: “Wouldst thou liketh that I speaketh in a tongue more apt to yon puzzled ears? perchance the manyfold twisting of yon pizzlehead to and fro, to catch but one tiny glimpse of thy lauded snoopyland and if only for an instant.”
(Sept. 8, 2005,;f=1;t=002410)

Made-up citation: "If thy dog is a pizzlehead, thou shouldst buy some pizzles. Because bull penises were meant to be doggie treats, according to the Bible."

Sunday, February 03, 2008


noun. An extreme yam-slammer (or taco-tickler) whose dolphin is waxed far beyond the call of self-servicing duty.

Real citation: “An additional way to increase calorific demand of masturbation is cause celular damage. Masturbate using a sandpaper glove or treebranch dildo. For any masturventurers try proourethral wanking. Use the business-end of a coat hanger (stop after about 10 cm), or for the man with endourethral girth, try a cork-screw. U'll be having fun, burning calories and scraping the syphilis out of ur pipes.”
(Jan. 12, 2007, Steady Health,

Made-up citation: “The scrotum self-repair guy is a first ballot inductee in the Masturventurer Hall of Fame.”


noun. So jerky, so assy, so waddy.

Real citation: “Come back to woodstock so we can play Guitar Hero you jerkasswad.”
(July 15, 2007,

Made-up citation: “A true wad connoisseur can tell a jerkasswad from a douchebagwad with just one whiff.”