moistenator

noun. A kavorka-infused love cowboy who leaves no stone unturned, no cookie uncrumbled, no panties dry.

Real citation: “The 4 of us stayed in room 107 of Gilligan's Hostel in Cairns for a couple of weeks. Left to right: Sebastien from Germany. Nickname(s) included Seba, Veron, Kraut, and Herman Ze German. Alex Woolf from London. Nickname(s) were plain old Woolfy and lightweight. Me. Nickname(s) Sexy Beast and The Moistenator. Shaun from Brisbane. Nickname(s) Brisie, Wrong Spelt Shaun and Arnie.”
(Alan M, June 2, 2006, http://ringo.com/photos/photo.html?photoId=133231745)

Made-up citation: "America still stays up all night writing love letters to much-missed moistener-in-chief Bill Clinton."