proctologistess

noun. In layman's terms, a proctologistette.

Real citation: "Every Good Bum Deserves Fingers (as the musically-inclined proctologistess said to the bishop)."
(jacaranda, Sept. 18, 1999,
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.running.out.of.newsgroup.names/
msg/9cacd1f7bce98df3?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "When a proctologistess and a goat-ball-licker wed, everyone wins. Especially the goats."